By Subhash Kateel

Hey family, had to take a second away from real talk.  So this Youtube video has been circulating all over called the “Sh*t New Yorkers Say.”

My first reaction, as a person that called New York (specifically Brooklyn) my home (via Michigan) for damn near a decade was “New Yorkers don’t really say that sh*t!”  My second reaction was, “Ok, maybe they say some of that sh*t.”  But it still doesn’t fully represent the folks that I know and call family in the 5 boroughs.  So I decided to create a list of things that I thought New Yorkers say on my FB page.  And a bunch of comments ensued.  So I figured I would list them.  Now I’m not creating no youtube, cuz, I’m just not.  If you want to, knock yourself out.  But here goes…

1.”Damn, I can’t believe I miss the crackheads on this block!”
2.”They closed that club down too?”
3. “How much you charging for beef and broccoli now?”
4. ” Damn these bootlegs suck.”
5. “Its a wallet not a gun.”
6.”They turned what into a freaking cupcake shop?”
7.”I am sending this fake purse to my family in [insert country or state], they won’t know the difference.”
8. “Wait officer, you’re giving me a ticket for eating on the train? Do you see what them two just did?”
9. “You got those sunglasses for $150? I got some from the old lady down the street for $5.”
10. ” Look man, I ain’t afraid of you or your block. You live next to a Starbucks.”
11. ” No my kid is playing here, because its a park…go do yoga someplace else.”
12. “No I am not gonna stop African drumming…in Marcus Garvey Park…in Harlem…thank you very much.”
13.‎”How many puma shoes does that guy own?”
14. “Why you tryna look scary? You got skinny jeans on.”
15. “No, but boric acid really does work.”
16. “All I ate all day was chicken and rice from the halal cart.”
17. “You sound country, are you from New Jersey?”
18. “Michigan? is that by Texas?”
19. “So you’re Hindu? From like Pakistan or something? That’s cool…As Salaam Alaikum.”
20. “So you’re from Trinidad?”…”no I’m Indian”…”Cool, mind if I call you ‘Trini?'”…”But”…”Yo, meet my man Trini everybody!”
21.”Yes I read the Daily f***ing News because it’s cheap and I like me some Juan Gonzalez.”
22.”Was that fireworks or a gunshot? It was fireworks…right?
23.”If them dudes are ‘Black Hebrew Israelites’ why are they dressed like they are from Sparta?”
24.  “Ain’t that the dude that made the ‘sh*t New Yorkers say’ video?”…”no man, leave it, don’t try to rob him.”
24.”Oh you listen to [insert rapper]? He went to high school with [insert relative].”
25.”This neighborhood ain’t the same.  Everybody speaks English.”
25.”Man this place is on some bougie hipster sh*t….but it tastes good.”

1/20 addendum (the things I am told I miss)
26.  “Oye Mami, what’s your number?”
27.  “As salaam alaikum sister, and what’s your number?”
28.  “Konichiwa, and how do you say what’s your number in your language?”
29.  “M***F***, you really think you’re gettin my number? really? with that face?”

If you have any you want to add, feel free to comment.  If you see something you said and you want to be recognized, just let me know.